I've actually been dating this girl for 2 years now (M), but we first hooked up after knowing each other for 2 years previously. I had just broken up with my ex for M, and for the previous two years, she had told me we would never date. So when the time came and she told me she was down to fuck, I was freaking out. I was so excited, but the problem was we only had about an hour to get down to business that day, and I still had to go get condoms. So she drove me to drugmart (my license was suspended, long story).

As I run inside, I find the only ones in stock are Trojan extra ribbed, extra lubed. Now, these things feel like you're fucking with a God damn ziploc bag covering your cock, so I was a bit disappointed. But whatever, I was about to fuck the girl of my dreams. So we drive back to her house, and when we get there, we have about a half hour til I have to go to my soccer game. So im excited as fuck, we get downstairs and shit starts going down. I get to the point of my putting the plastic bag on my dick, and I can already tell this is going to be tough. After about 5 minutes, in the midst of my adrenaline, and the fact that the quarter inch thick piece of rubber on my dick is seriously hindering my ability to enjoy getting laid, I go soft.... In the middle of finally fucking the girl I've sought after for two years, I go soft. I try to keep going, she tries giving me head, but little me just ain't havin it. So I roll over, and just lay there. As my limp dick is sitting on my stomach, I keep apologizing and apologizing until she starts laughing. And not laughing at me, but laughing in a sense that I was making too big of a deal of the whole situation. Luckily for me she says let's try again tomorrow. She goes out and buys me some regular Trojans, and the next day we have the best sex we've ever had.

Laying on that bed, limp dicked and frustrated has to be the cringiest moment of any relationship. But luckily, I found a keeper and we are still going strong.

TL;DR: FUCK Trojan ultra lubed ultra ribbed.