My dad doesn't comment on my weight/body anymore but when I started to gain weight during puberty, he told me that I could no longer ride in the car to get groceries or do other errands and that I should walk everywhere to lose that weight. I was about 128 lbs. back then and a half inch shorter.

I don't talk to my friends about this because they are all super skinny. My best friend is 6'0 and 125 lbs. and he eats a lot but has a ridiculously fast metabolism. He's very casually asked me how much I weigh when he talks about how skinny he is but I'm always embarrassed to answer because he's way taller than me and somehow weighs less.

I really just want to lose weight but I'm afraid I'll go down a bad path again with an eating disorder or it won't be effective to begin with. I feel so bad for failing all the time.