Not gonna act like this is a normal way for things to go, but I’ll tell you about my life. I was bullied in school since I was 10yo because I really tried to make friends, but I was not good at noticing that some people want nothing to do with me and/or would belittle me for being bad at making friends. Then I was diagnosed with arthritis. I had a hard time eating and started gaining weight over the years. I got more shy every year, less and less friends, until I had no real friends, just... colleagues. Arthritis also got me to be more anxious and sad since the treatment was terrible. Also, I won’t elaborate much on that, but my whole life I was going after the wrong people, and there was always something breaking my friendships apart. I always thought I had finally found a best friend, only to have things ruined by them leaving, showing their true colors, befriending someone else and leaving, etc. I somehow finished high school with lots of issues and skipping school a lot, and got into a public college barely studying for it (and having only like 1/5 of the knowledge from my last high school year, which is a big deal for trying to get to college). Became friends with a couple of nice ladies since our class of 40 students only had 4 women (including myself, and excluding one that just has a couple classes with us because she leaves a subject or two for the following semester). We supported each other the best we could, and we still talk even with quarantine, some issues last semester with group assignments and all, and I’m super grateful for them. Also became friends with 2 guys and got a boyfriend (yup, we’re in the same class, he’s a sweetheart, and he’s even more socially awkward than me, which I find cute). What I mean is: this overweight short weird girl who is still socially awkward, has no health whatsoever and bitches about it sometimes, and can be too sincere got somewhere. It’s possible for you to improve socially too. And what if you don’t? Well, then you just didn’t find the right people. Try not to beat yourself up over it, and keep going. You can be yourself (as long as you’re not an asshole, which I will assume you aren’t) and the right people will respect and care for you. Sorry, I’m not good at being motivational or helpful, but I tried. Hope someone who reads this comment understands and/or finds helpful even a tiny bit of what I’m saying, and sorry if you read it entirely and still didn’t get anything good out of it... hope things get better and you achieve your goals. <3 Also sorry if it’s not well written, english is my second language and I kinda learned it on my own...