In another life, I would have been a fascist, I think.

• There's part of me that cares about the power to impose one's will more than about almost anything else. The power of violence, the power to inspire fear, these are how you can be safe even from people who are unwilling to be civilized.
• There's a part of me that's unfriendly to left-wing movements. And yes, some of that is my gender bristling at being excluded from feminine spaces, but another part is just not liking progressives.
  • As much as I oppose climate change, I also hate most of the people nominally on the same side as me.
  • A lot of my exposure to feminism has been my mom calling me and my dad sexist for not caring as much about cleanliness as she does.
  • Something about the culture of progressive spaces that's hard to put my finger on brothers me. Maybe it's the unspoken rules thing you're referring to, or the way protest marches are loud and boring and no one agrees with me on that, or maybe it's something else.
• I'm decently good at suppressing my empathy when it's useful in the situation. In that state, hurting people is fun for me.
• I find the idea of eugenics appealing, if we could somehow keep villains from taking over the project.

But I was raised with left-wing ethics, so I couldn't live with myself if I joined a fascist movement. Plus I'm brown and nonbinary and disabled in several different ways, so the fascists wouldn't have me even if I wanted in.