i'm a year post op in like 3 weeks. there are so many things to say about it but i've been trying to keep it to myself. yes its scary. but so incredibly worth it. i just had faith. even though im not religious or spiritual i think it was a time where i just had complete and utter faith in myself and the system in place to help me achieve it. what could go wrong? idk. lots. i saw what could go wrong with one of the other patients. its a crapshoot. what could go right? anything was better than spending another self hating day to the extreme because i had this thing i was repulsed by but what if i didnt get the result i wanted? idk, dont think about that, just have to focus on feeling like doing the best you can. every day. i stuck to the dilation schedule, focused on eating right, icing it, walking lots, drinking lots of milk, water, juice, yogurt, pudding, oatmeal, taking baths and staying clean. it was a lot of work and you never knew what was going to happen next. but day by day things cleared up, things changed, got less woundy and way more natural, i stopped dilating because you can just have sex or masturbate and its the same thing. its just done and i dont even think about it anymore at all like its always been there if that makes sense? you need a good support system and a ton of luck.

i only was able to have the surgery because my province was gracious enough to cover it, and on top of that, i was able to use a charity airline that helps with people in low incomes get to their surgeries, and i was the person they called with 2 weeks notice saying someone cancelled, can I make it? it was all just out of my hands. i had to have faith.