Is your mom my mom? My mom stopped the physical abuse, "disciplining children", when my brother started telling everyone she was beating us around when he was 5.

A while back I went to talk to my mom about my brothers diagnosis of BPD, and my potential ability to have it as well. At first she was very comforting and told me there was nothing wrong with me (that it was the guy I was dating, didnt matter that there was definite proof of BPD before he came around) and when I defended him.. she took a full 180 on me and her face looked like she wanted to hit me.

She said, "you know what? You're right, you're the most self centered person I've ever met. I'd never have to ask your brother to do this or that. You're absolutely wrong and you dont have this disorder, you're just all about you, and everyone does walk on eggshells around you" implying that my brother was better than me and that none of my feelings about any of this mattered. Hes been in jail for 2 years. I've been living with her since she got her hip replaced, taking care of her and her house, helping her pay bills, living my life as hidden away from her as possible.

I dont really know what to call what she did, what to label it. It makes me cry now thinking about how quickly she went from loving to horribly mean. I dont really know what I did, because I'd just opened up to her about how I'd been having these paranoid thoughts and how real they seem about everything.. and how I had a hard time trusting. And then she did that. Lol.

It is good that you were able to control your anger and general demeanor! Thats a big step. One day you'll get out! I fully believe my mother has influenced me in my adult life more than I thought possible. The continuous emotional abuse and worry about when shes going to attack me next. Doesnt make for a happy home.