Throwaway account because I’m afraid someone this will be tied back to me and I’ll have consequences.

I’m unemployed and supposed to be an experienced senior software engineer, but I’ve spent most of my career doing maybe 20 hours of real work a week because of anxiety. This hurts most in technical interviews because it’s easy to uncover that I’m not as well-practiced as others with my years of experience. I’ve always just burned all the bridges, cast a wide net, and moved across the country for anything I can get because I’m afraid an old colleague will tell a hiring manager how awful I am at working. I can’t do that anymore and I feel trapped.