37 this year. I've only been on my own for 6 years at this point. Things started out pretty rough, but progress isn't linear. When I moved here I was addicted to pills (self-medicating pain) and didn't have any kind of diagnosis yet (for asperger's or for my neck problems). Happy to say I've been clean and under a doctor's pain management plan (no opiates) for over three years now.

I have a pretty good job with benefits, including education benefits, so if I ever decide to actually get back to college I won't have to pay for it, I just need to figure out what kind of work would make me happy (that's the hardest part, right?) Not knowing that was the main reason for dropping out (twice) in my 20s. I don't love where I'm currently living, but I'm making enough to save some money to buy a little house on some property a bit further from civilization - and I'm in a very commutable area so I could have that with only a half hour ride to work. And if I really wanted to, I could totally go buy a new car today, but my 7 year old paid-off car has less than 60k miles on it so yay for being a social pariah and not having anywhere to go!

I don't recommend this route, but the truth is that having been pretty seriously addicted to drugs throughout my 20s had already forced me to basically restart my life in order to get clean, and I believe the silver lining is that this second time around I had already freed myself from the kind of things that keep people spiraling back to addiction or trapped where they are. So I had a clean slate to move to a new city with a new job and no ties and really no nostalgia for the life I left behind, which wasn't right for me in the first place. Since moving here I've started therapy and gotten the diagnoses I needed in order to get help. I've advanced to the highest pay for the position I currently work. And I've got two little furballs keeping me company while I patiently wait for a suitable partner to magically appear in my life (lol).

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a roundabout way, is that I haven't exactly gotten to where I want to and know I can be yet, but I've made solid progress toward the life and person I see myself growing into and that keeps me motivated and hopeful for the future. And when I look back, I no longer really cringe at the social gaffes or the lost connections or all of my many, many mistakes. Each one was a lesson, big or small, that spurred me on to where I am now. I've made my life and my surroundings as comfortable for me as I can at the moment, and I'm actively working every day to improve. You have no one to compete with but yourself, right?