Does being gay mean that you attracted to the same gender, or does it mean that you are attracted to the same sex?

I'm not saying that I don't think trans women are real women. I'm saying that the fact that I would not be attracted to an attractive trans woman implies that on some level I don't view her as the same as a normal woman. I wouldn't tell her this because I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings but I would know that was the reason. To think otherwise is disingenuous. She's still just as amazing as a normal woman but as a straight male I would not be attracted to her.

"you can't be straight if you date someone with the same genitalia as you"

I'm saying you can't have it both ways. Either you're born with a preference or you aren't. Either you like people with the same genitalia or you don't. If I said I was gay but that I only date people with different genitalia than me that would be intellectually dishonest. You wouldn't consider me gay just because I identified as such. If a straight person can learn to be attracted to the same sex then there's no reason to think that gay people can't learn to be attracted to the opposite sex, but to say so is tantamount to heresy in western culture. Personally I think people are attracted to people on an individual basis so labels are unnecessary. But if people insist on using labels and saying that sexual preference is determined at birth then I'm absolutely going to say that a straight person cannot like someone with the same genitalia as them and to do so classifies them as bisexual.

I admit to being born intersexed, so all this just doesn't make sense to me.

You are a rare and unique individual. I don't know what gender you identify with but it doesn't really matter. You shouldn't have to make that decision because you are both in the truest sense of the word. Anyone who was attracted to you would by definition be bisexual.

People get to label themselves.

This is absolutely false. Society labels us. We don't really have much say in it. Is it unfair? Very much so. But we can't change the reality of situation just because we find it unfair.

TLDR; Individuals would rather the entirety of society change the definitions of certain words than change the definitions of themselves. We should just stop defining sexual preferences so that this problem stops here and future generations are free to like who they please without worrying about the connotations of the label their preferences places upon them.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent