Forever alone

Forever alone after 30

Forever alone after 40, in this one people cry when an old lady touched his shoulder, and that was the first women to do so in 15 years.

That is your future if you don’t sort yourself out

I have been there already and yes its quite sad. I'm 40 and never dated in my life. I tried to "Focus on myself" and to "Fix myself" and it failed, but then I have failed at nearly everything I try. I've been alone since I was in the 1st grade, by the time I was 19 I already had PTSD from my abusive childhood, from the abuse and bullying at school, and church, I also had developed a deep and abinding self hatred. And yet its the teachings of my Religion that keeps me alive and trudging on, though I a very tired of life, and of this world in general I am also to the point to where I don't care if I'm alone anymore. This world broke me at last to where I'm really just passing the time while I wait to die of old age.

I'm afraid that I am beyond fixing, I just dont care about much of anything anymore, I work so I can eat, and eat to live because I don't want to starve to death in a ditch somewhere. I worry about keeping my job only for that reason.