My BD2 partner used to have breakdowns whenever I told him that his illness was affecting me negatively. But with time he learned that this was not an appropriate response. Instead he learned to listen and set up healthy emotional boundaries with me.

After all that I’ve been through with him, here are some things I’ve found helpful that could apply to you and your partner. Know this:

1) It’s not his fault that he has bipolar disorder.

2) But that doesn’t mean that his illness can’t hurt his loved ones. His friends and family are allowed to feel pain and grief over his condition.

3) You and your partner are a team. It’s always going to be you and him against the problem, not you against him. So even though he’s the one with the diagnosis, the conflict belongs to both of you, and you will work together to get through it.

Both of you guys are valid in what you feel. He needs to understand that you will always feel some degree of pain because of his illness; that is not his fault or something he can control. So communicate honestly. He needs to understand that he can be there for you without blaming himself for your pain.

Good luck!