Hi, in a way it is reassuring to hear there is someone who feels similarly. I have felt so alone and like I can’t really move past this fully.
I don't think these people realize fully what they have caused. I have to live with this now. They did this to me because of past trauma that I had nothing to do with.
In a way it is unfair and I am trying not to keep bringing this back up, because it does not help to prod and poke shit up more, but I was silent and just took things for so long. Mainly because I am usually optimistic and think people have a) good intentions and b) are willing to change. And also because I can't believe someone can treat others like this.
Like, seriously, what the fuck happened to you to make you so stuck in all these negative feelings that make you want to lash out in such harsh ways? Not like I ever got a straight answer, they were too stubborn to ever have a deep conversation with me. There was always some excuse to not commit, to not talk, well, I'm done with them and honestly I do feel lighter ever since.
They wanted me to keep chasing them forever, but whatever, I'm over it, I know their game now. They always bragged about all of their other conquests, well they can have them. They thought they could do better, well let them, let them have everyone in the world except for me. I hope they're happy with their knock-off Ken dolls with fake smiles and lots of cash money.