I am apparently guilty of doing this to my partner. Never have any recollection of it. Very similar story, engaged and I'm not very into sex. Testosterone levels are restored at night, and I'm probably my most horny when I'm asleep or wake up in the middle of the night or something. I was pretty mortified to hear that I had been doing the same things your partner is doing. I'll explain things about me that maybe will help with your partner. There's issues I don't tell my partner about. We've been together for 10 years and she still doesn't get how I work or what turns me on. She expects me to be like other guys she's been with I'm assuming.. that I just just like sexual gratification for the sake of it, which I don't really. She wants me to be all take charge guy, but I'm turned on by her, and the site of a naked woman. She isn't confident about her body, so doesn't use her sexuality or tease me with nakedness or anything. Just expects me to want it and like I should be pawing at her all the time for it, which in turn makes her turned on and feel wanted. Sex has only ever brought heart ache. Ex girlfriends messed me up and now we have this weird vibe where we want each other to act in a different way. As someone psychologically not into sex, doesn't mean my male body doesn't want to be. I think that's why I'm acting like a sleaze in my sleep. Recently she had a dream that I r**ed her while half asleep or something. This has ensured I want nothing to do with sex even more.... But honestly I do, I love it when we do click and are together. My suggestion to you is change things up. He probably is not enjoying things for his own reasons. Just pleasing him trying to get him off doesn't really help. Find out what excites him, and do so just for the fun of it. Don't do it just to end up having sex, do things that make him come to you to snap him out of it. And DEFINATELY don't be like my partner and think it gives you the right to seek make attention elsewhere and expect forgiveness.