I can’t get behind this perspective at all. Have you had your wedding? It’s easy for the guest list to quite literally double if you invite everyone’s partners. The bit about cutting the guest list by couple rather than partners is especially harsh.

In my wedding for example, one of the guest groups is close colleagues. I hardly know their partners. Are you saying that if I had to make a decision between a close colleague and a partner, I would have to trade them off in order to invite the partner? If this were this case, I’d end up with only half the colleagues I want to invite, which would split up our work group. I think that is far worse than splitting up couples when you don’t know the partners.

I know it sucks splitting up partners but I think it’s more nuanced and complex. However, in OPs case specifically, I think it’s rude she is being expected to travel out of state without her partner.