You don’t “try”. You either do or do not, like Yoda said.
Mark 11:22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus said to them. 23“Truly I tell you that if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and has no doubt in his heart but believes that it will happen, it will be done for him. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
25And when you stand to pray, if you hold anything against another, forgive it, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your trespasses as well.”
The Bible says we didn’t believe in our heart then. And your actions prove this, no? You found your identity in being gay and empowered the flesh instead of The Lord. This is part of who and what you identify with on Reddit, that’s how important the flesh was to you. It’s not judgement, it’s just simply looking at your actions.
I assume the hell on the flesh was too much for you, you didn’t wait long enough for God’s power, and found your identity elsewhere. It shows in your actions.
Hebrews 11 says “By faith…” over, and over, and over again.
I suffer from lack of faith and why I struggle so badly too.
If you given up the good fight, and gave into sin, then maybe you are not ultimately saved.
You obviously gave up though because you said, “It didn’t work.”
What you are communicating is God didn’t work then.