There is nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with being you. Enjoying your life, leveling up, pursuing your goals and dreams. A lot of people in this sub and on r/ExNoContact think you need someone else. They think adding someone into your life will somehow break hold of your past traumas, your addictions, your lack of self-worth and validation.
No. No. NO!
You do not.
What you need is a purpose, a goal, a dream to fulfill you.
A lot of people find themselves in relationships because they are 'afraid,' of being alone, because they think this other person they meet will allow them to be 'whole again.'
My friend, I will tell you once and time again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone. When you have embraced being alone, endured the difficulties of being lonely, and triumphed over even the greatest obstacles like adversity, heartbreak, failures, and other parts of life that will throw numerous tests at you. Only then can you truly let someone in.
A lot of us, myself included, wish our exes would reach out and we could get back. But why?
To me, being single and not choosing to be in any relationship other than someone who adds value, helps push you to become a better person on this journey, and is an addition other than subtraction is the only time you should be with someone.
You do not need someone. I'm going to nail this in your goddamn head. Relationships are built on two healthy individuals.
YOU ATTRACT WHO YOU ARE! Visualize that being single is not a BAD thing. It's actually great, because it gives you freedom, the ability to think rationally, and the monumental mindset that you do not NEED anyone, and whoever you decide to end up with is solely based on the premise that you want them!
This isn't being based on copdencency, not based on your desires or lust, not based on choosing to be with the first person you like who gives you attention.
What you need to do first and foremost is choose a path that helps you become a better version of yourself. Practice mindfulness, gratitude, kindness, humility, be a human being that wants to help others not out of seeking something in return, but because we were put on this earth so we could be a human being. Empathy, honesty, communication, respect, and love. These are traits you must embody. Be driven, be loving, be giving, stop holding others from seeing the light you can shine because you've been hurt in the past.
What you need to do is let go of who you used to be, and embrace who you are now! You are enough, and that's all matters. Focus on the present, immerse yourself in nature, meditiate, start working on aspects of your life that you can improve and STOP worrying about the past.
You are not 'over,' your breakup by hooking up, getting into other flings, getting lost in someone else. You are simply hiding from the truth, and the truth will eventually set you free. Know thyself, know your limitations, but know what your value is. Do not let someone else set that for you, only you can.