I get you. Although for different reasons. I used to smoke a lot with my partner. I got pregnant but only because I was told I was infertile. Had no idea it was even possible. He begged me to keep it, so we made a pact that if I did, we would quit together. I told him, “I really don’t wanna be a mom, I just wanna smoke, play video games and travel, don’t you?” He said “yea but that will get old after awhile” I disagreed and told him, “having the freedom to do what you want never gets old.” Not to me. But I eventually thought that he might be right. Should have listened to my gut. But I was 4 months when I found out and in Texas. Roe Vs Wade was just overturned and I would have had to travel to have an abortion. At 4 months, even as pro choice, it sounded like a bad idea. So we kept the pregnancy.

He quit with me in solidarity like he promised and now at 35 weeks has picked up the habit again. He’s a school teacher and fully supports us while I’m not working at this point. I was up until a month ago, I’m just too exhausted and the side effects like peeing constantly, constant hunger, body aches, mood swings, and fatigue were just too much to be productive. I appreciate him so much for holding us down but man do I resent him for pushing this decision because I want to smoke and be free to work. Instead we’re budgeting and he’s smoking still. Before when I was working, I was independent and could afford things I wanted, now on his salary I can’t. Not to mention I could do what I want with my body. Every Reddit post and blog I read, the women are fine with their man smoking but I’m livid about it. And I find it so hypocritical. Why would it be okay that he gets to continue living the life I wanted to live when a child is both our responsibilities? The double standard just because he’s not pregnant is ridiculous. As someone who valued her freedom, I can’t stand the “let him smoke, he needs it” “it’s selfish to control him” stance. GTFOH. Since I’ve been pregnant, everyone gets a say so on my body, and if I don’t oblige, I risk hurting my baby which I don’t want to do. Everything about this is controlling by circumstance. I don’t care if he’s stressed from working. I want a fat joint for my aches and pains. I’m stressed too, this is rough on my body. But tough shit, I cant. So why does he get to? Resentful is an understatement. On top of the bs of abortion laws. It’s all maddening considering I was told I couldn’t get pregnant. Made him quit today. Let’s see how long this lasts.