No, me setting out a scene isn't an option, he doesn't care for that.

If you can't even negotiate a scene, what's left as an option?

I was in a similar situation with a previous partner, outside of the bedroom, we would talk about things we wanted to try (he was mostly vanilla). Most of the time it didn't happen, because he doesn't function like that and just didn't think of it in the moment, which is fine and I can understand that. But still, he managed to put in the effort a few times, plan out a scene and surprise me, because obviously he cared at least a little bit about my pleasure even if we weren't that compatible sexually.

If your partner isn't willing to work with you on this, well... You need to decide if that's a dealbreaker or not.