I don’t want to check in with my partner while she’s away visiting her other partner

I’m going to go against the grain here and say I think you probably should be texting LA. (Or should at least consider it).

Listen, boundaries are important. Your comfort is important. But relationships aren’t a totally individualistic pursuit. Sometimes, we end up sacrificing some of our comfort for the people we love because we love them, and because it won’t be hugely detrimental to us the long run.

On paper, “do what YOU want, 100% of the time, and if it’s not 100% compatible with another persons wants and needs, then you two are incompatible” sounds great, but in practice, it’s unrealistic. And on a personal note, if I was on the other side of the country and my partner couldn’t put aside their baggage to send me one text to make sure I was okay/safe every day, that would hurt a lot.

That’s just my two cents, and maybe reserving the right to not send a text is more important to you than LA is, in which case - disregard! But it sounds like daily check ins are important to her, and if you’re not willing to sacrifice your comfort in that way (which again, IMO, isn’t always a totally negative thing) then it is what it is

/r/polyamory Thread