There’s two books that I recommend to guys like you. The first is “The power of bad” by Roy Baumeister and the second is “Lost Connections” by Johan Hari. Baumeister writes about the human tendency towards negativity. He calls it the negativity bias. It’s universal and it arises from evolutionary psychology. The second book, examines depression. If you believe that you are hated by strangers and you’re in competition for attention you have depressing thoughts if you are not depressed. Believing horrible things and repeating them frequently is a sure fire way to become stuck on a treadmill of despair. The way off of this treadmill is to start with challenging the validity and accuracy of your own thoughts. Just because you think something doesn’t make it true but if you think it enough you will feel like shit. You can cultivate kindness and compassion for women, you can learn to make small talk. Small talk is a skill that diffuses aggression. Chimpanzees diffuse aggression by picking each other’s lice. Humans diffuse aggression via small talk. To initiate a relationship with a woman you must first engage in small talk and then express interest. Trust is like light or warmth, it can be dim and it can gradually increase until it’s as bright as the sun. I believe that you are unable to see interest and approval because of your self talk and your body language. Scrupulous hygiene, tidy clothes clean shave haircut displays respect for others sensibilities. If you show up looking like a slob, you communicate disregard and disrespect. You should look at least as good as you would for an interview. Practice your smile, be patient. And lower your standards. A n average guy has more likelihood of success with an average girl. I know a guy who criticizes women’s looks and then is only interested in women way out of his league. No wonder he has no luck, he thwarts himself. If you want to change you can but it starts with stopping doing the things that thwart you and start doing the things everyone else does. It’s not rocket science or brain surgery.