I am like this too. I yearn so hard to live a normal life. I am 30 and I maintain a full time job for 10 years now but I am falling apart. My life is just spent trying to survive and mentally prepare for the next challenge, the next work day, the next family thing. I constantly break down or burn out. I am pretty much always in crisis. I have been in therapy but basically all I can do is learn coping strategies. I see my peers living their lives and going out and having fun. They can stop at the store on the way home and its not a big deal, when I am lucky if I can manage that once a week. I am so lucky they deliver groceries now and that I can afford it because that used to be a nightmare. /rant.