You sound very selfish. Maybe you should delay having children a bit. Seems like you made up a perfect world in your head where you would satisfy your children’s every need and this is just so unrealistic. Since you can’t impregnate yourself, you should except that you have to co-parent with somebody inevitably. A child is not your perfect little dollie that only you can love right. That attitude is gonna make your children really unhappy and it’s also quite narcissistic. If you don’t trust your partner to be a good parent, you need to find someone else who will. Robbing children of having two parents because you’re a perfectionist is gonna make everyone unhappy.