I got back into school this Fall but once again my grades were terrible and I am probably going to get kicked out of school again.
Have you spoken to a guidance counselor? Are you speculating about getting kicked out or are you actually getting kicked out? Remember this: your school doesn't WANT to kick you out. Colleges will do a lot to retain their students. Please speak to a counselor at your school ASAP. I know it sounds hard, and it's one more stressor on top of another stressor, but there might be a chance to save your place in school.
You're not a failure.
I am going to have to pay back a years worth of college and my family and I are financially challenged so I am having anxiety attacks every night thinking about how I am going to break the news to them.
Student loan repayments are often based on income. Since you have no income, you will very likely be able to get on a loan repayment plan. You will not have to pay back a scholarship.
now I have a hard time just getting out of bed in the morning and I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of being unproductive and having anxiety attacks every day worrying about my future and I have absolutely do idea what I should do. I’m so tired of living like this but I just can’t find the motivation anywhere to actually change anything and it’s destroying me.
This sounds awful and exhausting to deal with every day. Have you spoken to a psychologist at your school? Experiencing anxiety attacks every day is not normal and not healthy. If someone you knew was experiencing paralyzing knee pain every day, you would probably tell them to see a doctor. A brain experiencing paralyzing anxiety every day is the same situation.
My biggest problem I guess is I just don’t know what I want, but I’m 20 years old and everyone around me expects me to know what I want to do and if I don’t go to school then I will probably be seen as a failure to my family.
20 years old is still very, very young. You have so much time ahead of you! It's totally ok to have no idea what you want to do. Your family seems to be the type that has a very close-minded view of life. They all followed the same life script and can't understand that your life script might be different. It's ok to not know what you want out of life. It's ok to change your mind about becoming a dentist. It's ok to fail. And lucky you — you're only 20! It's not like you're 30 with three kids realizing that your career choice is a bust and you have to start life all over.
Your life is just starting!! Seriously. You are 20 years old!! You have SO MUCH TIME to figure out a path for yourself. You don't have to have your whole life script figured out. Who cares if your family thinks you are failure if you don't go to school. They didn't exactly win at life, given their precarious financial situation. Perhaps they are projecting their failures onto you. Or perhaps they lack imagination. In any case: your life is for YOU. Not them.
want to be able to make enough money to service in this hellhole of an economy but I don’t think I will ever be able to without going to college and getting into a huge debt. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get my life back on track or am I just destined to live like this?
First piece of advice: nurture your mental health FIRST. Because anxiety is only going to weigh you down. Please see a psychologist at your school while you are under your college's insurance!
Second piece of advice: there are PLENTY of careers that will allow you to make good money with or without a degree. Eight years of school for a dental job you don't even want sounds grim. Having a degree will help, but it's not the be-all end-all. You could look into dental tech jobs, physician assistant jobs, hospital administration, nursing, veterenary tech. You could take business courses and start a business, take a couple comp sci courses and work as a programmer (very very good money in programming, btw). Jobs in marketing pay really well and your degree can be in darn near anything.
You can also finish your 4 years of undergrand and TAKE A BREAK. You don't have to go to dental school immediately.
If you end up completing undergrad with a terrible GPA, there are post-bacc programs you can take to make yourself more appealing to grad schools. But this is an expensive option. Better to try and improve your grades now (you've got 2 more years of school, it sounds like?) if you can.
But you can't improve your grades if you don't take care of your anxiety. Please do this for yourself. You can do it.