The thing is it's not economical conditions, we're talking about people dying because of abortions because they aren't legal and other methods of contraception etc aren't easily available so they go for the shady option. And so on.

I can't adequately defend their position, because I am both pro-choice and pro-contraceptives, but I suspect that someone who is both pro-life and against the use of contraceptives would stress the importance of discipline, point to the statistics about illegal abortion, bite the bullet on that, appeal to the need for a change in culture, and insist that the trade off is too great to be permissive.

why do i have to put myself in the shoes of people who care about the fact that others might not follow their fundamentalism over better conditions for those same others.

Because it's healthy for our democracy. If you understand a landscape, it would be easier to traverse it. Likewise, if you understand where someone is coming from, it would be easier for you to get them to your side.