No, I'm not joking.

I did not ask if you were joking? That's a good start to a reasoned argument.

I'm sorry you're angry with the law?

At what point did I demonstrate anger? I calmly asked reasonable questions, only one of which you answered.

You are ignoring questions you cannot morally answer because they are too difficult.

But let me break it down:

This isn't condescending at all. I clearly am in need of a lesson by what I'm assuming is a college student who recently took some courses about consent.

If you and your wife have a glass of wine. You're fine.

Okay, what if we both have two glasses of wine? What about three? What if I have three glasses and she has one? What if I have one glass and she has three? These are not rhetorical questions, I would like actual answers.

If you give your wife quaaludes

What if she gives them to me? What if we both possess them and take them recreationally?

and she's inebriated past the point of "informed consent"

Ah, so you do have qualifiers. It's not just a broad sweeping statement you can make about all people who are intoxicated.

So how about you go ahead and answer my questions if you are so educated and can break it down for me?

If two college students smoke a joint and then have sex, that is rape?

If two parties are both drunk, and the woman initiates the sex, is she raping the man?

If both parties are drunk, and neither party asks for consent verbally but during the act non-verbally consent by both performing oral sex on one another, switching positions multiple times (including riding on top and missionary, so both parties were actively performing sexual acts) did they both rape each other? Or was only one of them raping the other?

Again, these are not rhetorical questions. These are serious questions you must be able to answer if you believe that you can make a sweeping statement such as "you aren't allowed to have sex with intoxicated people".