Hey man, I am a walking case of beer. And I am just now starting to get away from the devilish stuff. It causes me depression, but even worse - anxiety and panic attacks.
I feel you 100%. I get bored with life or being stable or whatever and I just want to get shithoused, but then the aforementioned panic sets in and I am in a world of hell. Believe me, alcoholic bipolar individuals are more common than you think. I forget the statistic, but a good chunk of us will have comorbid substance abuse issues. I am one. My father is one.
All I can say is that, although it may be boring or torturous to stay away, the stability of being sober is so underrated. And the longer you stay sober, the easier it gets.
PM at anytime if you wanna chat or blow off some steam.