I’m not in the same spot as you now, but I was. What was very important to me was realizing it will likely never be perfect. I can’t go cold turkey on cheat meals, I also can’t get my ass to the gym all the time. I try to set a goal for the week, I started with 2 meals at home per week (I was eating ALL meals out for like two years). I would buy groceries I like to eat too.. microwave crap, pizzas, pasta etc. You can’t just buy all health food or you will just leave it in he fridge. I would get spinach, onion & mushrooms and throw it into ANYTHING I made at home. I would always do very short workouts, like ten mins max just to get the blood pumping. I would be sitting on my couch, depressed, and say “let’s just do 10 squats.” Then I would slowly say that was easy, maybe 10 squats 10 sit ups and so on. I also really like Yoga, and that makes working out not a chore for me. It’s very important to find some form of exercise that doesn’t feel like just another chore. Try a stationary and put on your favorite movie or show, music of podcast. It’s all about making it a non hated activity to start. I think it goes overlooked sometimes that people who lead healthy lifestyles, very rarely had it right, right off the bat. You need to make yourself okay with taking a day off, and living inside that imperfect balance. I am also now ranting, but just realizing I can’t be perfect all the time made the difference for me. I now generally go to the gym 3-6 times a week, yoga 3 times a week, and I still have ice cream and pizzas in the fridge, but I also have chicken, fish, salad etc. It’s a process, but it’s better than the massive swings of cold turkey/trying to gym everyday and failing. No idea if this helps you or not, I really hope you start to feel better, and if you want to keep chatting just comment on my comment! Good luck!