Hey man, i really appreciate you taking the time to express how you’re feeling to all of us, you’ve definitely got nothing but support here.

I’m not sure if this will help at all, as I’ve never really had to deal with many issues like that too much, but i think part of the reason for that is that I’m always living in the now. I know that I’m a competent and capable person, i know that i can get through anything that comes my way.

Well, i guess i don’t know that but that’s the mindset i always try to keep. I’m a huge introvert, don’t have a huge social life or really much of anything going on now that i think about it, but i just try to focus on and find enjoyment in the little things. Comedy, politics, drugs, technology, video games- my life outside of work/school is completely engulfed by those interests. I’m constantly keeping my mind occupied on things that interest me, preferably things that sorta evolve and change day by day like new reddit posts or youtube videos releasing.

Hell, even when I’m showering and getting ready for the day and also while I’m driving i still keep my mind constantly stimulated and occupied with things i find interesting, mostly daily podcasts. I feel like boredom can lead to thought loops which just end up intensifying and radicalizing even the smallest bad emotional thought. If you’re always constantly focused on something you have an interest in, you don’t give your mind a chance to amplify any present bad thoughts

I’m sorry if this isn’t helpful at all, i feel like this might not be something that you can just start doing because someone told you to, but maybe just putting the thought into your head may help. Just try to keep your mind occupied as much as possible. The internet is incredible for this, we have free and unlimited access to basically anything and everything conceivable, find your passion. Engulf yourself in it. Live life day by day and focus on the little things, don’t worry about the big picture, as long as you’re meeting obligations and staying mentally occupied, you will be okay

I hope this helps at least somewhat, and that you find what’s best for you