Your restaurant analogy doesn't pertain to selling. A wait-person is a service, not merchandise. In a restaurant you have little to no choice on who will serve you. On Etsy one has a wide choice on who to buy from. Capitalism promotes competition. Without the buyer, the seller does not exist.

"Above and beyond" is an abstract term with multiple connotations. I don't think buyers are looking for free stuff--at least not as many that sellers claim. I think that sellers with a no return policy also attracts more bottom of the barrel customers, by weeding out wiser and more responsible buyers who will not take a chance with a store that has a no-returns policy.

It screams entitlement for someone to punish someone else for not giving them more than they paid for for free.

Explain that, please.