I don't see myself living for long

I always thought that I would kill myself at 27. I learned that a lot of great people died at this age, people who did amazing things with their lives. But I never did anything amazing. I was never even that clever, talented, funny, personable…or any other adjectives that describes someone beyond ordinary.

Painfully ordinary. That’s what makes it all so unlikeable. And to boot, I don’t have my parents or family, nor wife, or kids. Even so, I’m pretty sure I would still feel a distance inside. In fact, I prefer to be completely alone with the exception of my dog. When she’s at the end, I may not get another dog, and may call it then.

I know that one day I’ll do it. Which is actually a bit of a relief because I have time to figure out a more humane way of leaving rather than a nightmarishly painful one.

Just because it’s the reasonable thing to do when you don’t have anybody and the years keep coming. I’m 37, and just not very impressed by much anymore.

On a long enough time scale, there’s some terrible demise in store for us all. Why it seems no one can admit this is beyond me. Finding the humane way to go is much more preferable than leaving it all up to chance. How many dying people have truly experienced Hell, and for what, when they could’ve been put out of their misery.

That…is inhumane imo.

/r/SuicideWatch Thread