You tend to make assumptions. Kids usually live on a simple term. Even though they are aware of the history, they don't relate or suspect any single event. They do believe in his excuses. As for staying in a not so perfect marriage, let me ask you: how people get married? SO and I did not just randomly get married. We married on the base of knowing each other enough and agreeing to build family together. Over the long period, things did change, but a lot of things still remain, like we still like to ask each other's opinion, we still feel comfortable to face life challenges together, we still like each other's appearance and feel being attracted, etc. As I said earlier, no marriage is perfect. We both run out to find another mate can't guarantee a happy marriage, but for sure will be drastic if we just ignorantly destroy a family we took so much effort to build. Life is not a game. As I said earlier, life is too short that we don't have that luxury of time to build, destroy, build, destroy, it's too exhausting. Of course I'm only talking about my own marriage. In some marriage that was physically or mentally abusive, and one spouse got ruined, it's different. In that case, he/she should say no to the abuser and leave. Not my case. In my case, children see how I handled the hurt with strength, braveness, and intelligence, it benefits them to learn how to handle frustration. Theoretically I will not like my kids to consider divorce as the first choice if they have kids, because it's a destructive process, and many times it's not necessary. From our conversation, you are a very idealogic kind of person who thinks black and white without adapting to the different context. I guess in real life, you may run into unnecessary frustration and obstacles because of that.