I don't really get this 'confidence' thing

Confidence, today, means being smooth and making everyone around you comfortable. I would suggest start off with new people with whom you are NOT interested in dating. Understand that everyone here is meeting everyone the first time.

Thus, feel the room and be welcoming and comfortable towards everyone. It is not just about YOU or YOU putting up an act to impress an audience. It is an inclusive thing, a "group thing", similar to Improv, where you hold up one another and make sure everyone, not just you, have a good time.

Once you are comfortable doing this in platonic new friendships, the next step will be in dating. Remember, confidence is about "handling a situation". And all new interactions are awkward for everybody involved (whether they show it or hide it). The end goal is making sure everyone has a good time. That's where "confident vibes" come from.

TLDR : "Confidence" is not a solo performance. It is about making all people around you feel welcomed and nice. It is about two people holding each other up - and if one person initiates this, the other gets the cue.

/r/dating_advice Thread