I don't rrcommend having children.

As a mother of 3 myself, I have told people, including my own sister, this before. (Not sure why I’m even here, I saw this sub linked somewhere and fell down the rabbit hole lol)

Don’t get me wrong, I do love my kids and I’m really proud of them and I would die for them in a heartbeat, but if I’m being completely and totally honest, if I could go back and change the way I did things, I totally would. I had kids very young and now feel like I have no life or identity of my own. My entire life revolves around them and making sure they have what they need. And the older they get, the harder it gets. Babies are tough because they keep you up all night and shit themselves, but older kids are hard on a different level. It’s constant correction, directing, picking up everyone’s shit, coordinating everyone’s shit. And the kids appreciate nothing I do for them. Sometimes I feel so miserable and trapped. I live for the few and far between breaks I get. Don’t even get me started on the fact that on top of struggling with parenting in general, I also, being young and naive, had kids with the complete wrong person, my oldest two have a different dad than my youngest (I’m remarried now) and he is minimally involved in their lives, which leaves me to be mom and dad. To me, that’s the worst part, feeling alone in this because for their dad parenting was optional. For me, it isn’t a choice, once they were born my entire world shifted, and he still lives his la di da fun life.

I honestly feel like a terrible person for even writing all this. But I wish I had known being child free was even an option. It was always a given to me that I would one day be a mother. Maybe it’s just human nature to want what you don’t have, because I’m sure if I was child free, I would long to be a mother. I also think there are a ton of moms out there who feel similar to me and have some regrets but no one talks about it.

At the end of the day this is my lot in life and all I can do now is try to do the best I can for myself and the kids. I think the best thing I can do is remain positive and make myself happy because if kids have unhappy parents they will be unhappy too.

All the child free people out there, have an extra drink for me tonight will ya?

/r/childfree Thread