Why don't you talk to your once "best friend" anymore?

Her boyfriend hated me. They had a very rocky relationship where they broke up and got back together pretty much every other month. They eventually got engaged, but they were still going to couples therapy because they were still having major issues. From what I saw of him I think he was extremely controlling and selfish, and I think she knew it too but didn’t want to admit it. I don’t like to make judgments as an outsider, so I left it alone and just took her side.

Then they had a big break, one all of us thought might be really the end of them. She stopped wearing her engagement ring, the wedding was called off, she was reaching out to other ex-boyfriends, and this new ex and her weren’t talking at all. All of her friends (and even her hairdresser) were secretly cheering behind her back, but I kept trying to be supportive since I knew that was still a big deal for her to lose him. That’s the type of person I always was to her, though. Through a bad fall/winter where her friends were abandoning her as bridesmaids (even one longtime friend of hers who was originally her maid of honor but turned on her and tried to turn all of her other friends against her), I always stuck up for her. I even lost a couple friends over it myself, but I just sucked it up because I cared about her and felt bad everyone in her life was abandoning her in such a short period of time.

But trying that hard to be supportive just fucked me over in the end and really jaded me to my other relationships with people. Here’s what sealed the deal: I introduced her to a male friend of my husband (then boyfriend) who I knew was interested in her, and it didn’t end up going anywhere. Then she goes on some dates with an old ex-boyfriend, and that too went nowhere. Then she was just single for a few months. In that span of time I got engaged. Not sure if that triggered something in her, but in the span of 2 months she went from maid of honor to ghosting me for unknown reasons. What happened? Well, apparently I had transformed into the scapegoat for why their relationship fell apart, and I “encouraged her to cheat” by introducing her to a guy while they were on a no-contact, end of an engagement break. On top of that, he had somehow convinced her that I was crazy (rich coming from a guy with bipolar who literally had been institutionalized more times than you can count on your fingers). So while I was calling her out on ghosting me and trying to figure out what i did, she was telling me she felt threatened by me and thought I was going to murder her. I was in shock and hurt like hell for a while by all of that, but now I just have her permanently closed off, even when she has tried to message me with apologies. I invested too much into someone who wasn’t a friend at all. It sucks, but now have a husband, family, and small group of real friends who all actually care about me. That’s all that matters now. :)

/r/AskReddit Thread