Our mothers were both in relationships with incredibly emotionally abusive assholes who were intent on driving wedges between us.
In her case, he cornered her and her elder sister one day telling them how their father (away on business, loved them dearly) didn't really ever love them and was gone because he hated them and wanted nothing to do with them, sending both of them into hysterics. She ended up living at my house for something like two weeks after that while her mother smoothed things over to the point where they could look at each other under the same roof again. Constant sleep overs. Hanging out almost every day. This girl was like the sister I never had. My BFF. Woo.
She knew my situation was bad too. But it escalated one night to the point where he basically got what he wanted by antagonizing me to the point of lashing out, then going to sic my mom on me by screaming at her about me until she snapped and came after me. It did not go well.
Anyway, I had recently gotten back from my very first cross-country trip to see my new long-distance friend-turned-boyfriend a couple months prior. I was a month from turning 19, I was completely devastated by my mother telling me I was "ruining her fucking life," and I was so desperate to be done that I was ready to raid the medicine cabinet and call it quits. BF, living 3400 miles away, told me to come live with him. Said his home was my home. And just like that, he booked a flight to come get me and something like a week or two later we were driving cross-country.
Now see, he had saved me. And when he had given me my out, I had had to tell my extended family and all my friends that I was leaving. I texted people updates of my trip, and yet...BFF? Silence. Six months went by, silence. I tried asking her what was going on, if everything was okay, why she wouldn't answer me...nothing.
Over a year passed before she would finally pick up the phone on one of my million tries calling/texting/emailing her, trying to find out what the hell was going on. And she sat there with two girls from high school that hated me coaching her through the conversation in the background that I had betrayed her. That I had known that her mother had chosen a man over her and how that had destroyed her, and how I had turned around and done the exact same thing. I was floored.
I told her that absolutely wasn't what happened, that the asshole in my life had finally ruined my relationship with my mother to the point where I had had to get out and that I had been suicidal. She said I should have called her first. She could have provided me somewhere to go. "BFF," I said to her, "You're going to school out of state. What was I gonna do, live alone with your dad?"
"I don't know," she told me, "But you didn't even try. Maybe if we'd talked sooner things would be different, but...I'm sorry."
Sooner. Like the year she shunned me.
So..she didn't want me in her life anymore. I had, according to her, knowingly betrayed her in the worst possible way by running away to be with a man and abandoning her. In reality, my husband saved me from a horrifically abusive home life and potential suicide by giving me a safeahaven when I had nowhere else to go, and choosing to save myself cost me my best friend.
No, I am still not fucking over it.