I don't like to admit this but I friended you on here a long time ago when you posted your pics. That's how I noticed this thread. You are a sweet, kind, beautiful girl. I can't imagine how devastated your family would be if anything happened to you. I know it's hard when you are young and you worry so much about people judging you. As you get older you start to worry less and less about that stuff and realize it doesn't matter very much. That's why old people don't care about anything and just do whatever they want. I promise you that if your doctor thinks you are weak, it's not going to have any negative impact on your life. I'm sure if you think it through logically you know this, I understand it's still hard though. But what your doctor thinks of you doesn't matter. Your classmates don't matter either. You will be out of school in no time and won't see them again. All that matters is you and your family. You told us here that you are suicidal and I don't think you are weak, I only respect you and like you and appreciate you more. Your family will be the same way. And if you can't talk to that doctor, you could try switching to a different one. If you can't talk to your mother, you could leave her a note.

But I think the key is getting the right medication. If you have gotten worse since you started the antidepressants, or if they aren't working, you might be on the wrong drugs. Maybe your doctor could give you different medicine that could work better or faster.

And you may know this but depression is largely a genetic issue. You have problems in your life, but you brain is what's making you think those problems are so terrible that you need to kill yourself. If you get the right medication and it fixes you, those problems will no longer seem as bad as they do now and you will feel a lot better. I realize it's VERY hard for you right now though and I feel really bad for you. I truly hope you get better. I don't know you really but you seem like a great person.