Thanks :) I'm feeling more female now so I'm pretty happy with the way I look. I was feeling more male when I posted this. I don't know whether I'll keep swinging between these feelings or whether it was because I was going through a difficult time in my life but I'm okay with being a tomboy for now.

I have started jiu jitsu classes and I'm finding that does a lot to give confidence to my masculine side. I like to feel powerful and in control and jiu jitsu does that for me. I guess I just have some unresolved issues with my gender and a male sex fetish.

I have tried packing around my apartment. I found it immensely comfortable (though I was using a nice cushiony sock against my junk so...) but I was too nervous to go out with it considering that my face definitely doesn't pass.

Interesting what you said about my duality acceptance of gender roles compared with gender expression. I suppose that sums it up. I assume it's vanity and societal pressure to conform to a gender in appearance. But I don't know. I guess I'm just going to have to have more experiences and learn more about myself.