Don't know what to do (MIL/DH rant)

Try to phrase it to your husband this way:

Giving birth is one of the few times in life when it is all about you. You are in an extremely vulnerable position. You are exposed, you are in pain, you are pushing a baby out of your vagina. This is not a comfortable experience for you. Yes, you understand that others want to come and watch because it is an incredible experience - a baby is born at the end of it all! However, watching a birth is not a spectator sport. It is not something to be gawked at. You are really not comfortable with the idea of having his mom their. Not because you don't like her, but because you just aren't that comfortable displaying that level of openness and intimacy with her. You had your mom there the first time because you were scared and you wanted your mom, the person who raised you and who you look for when you want comfort and support, with you during that time. In the end it turned out you weren't even that comfortable with her there! This time, you know what's happening, and not only do you not feel you need your mom, you KNOW that you don't want anyone else there besides your husband and the medical professionals. You hope that he can support you in this decision because giving birth is NOT any easy process, and you would like to be as comfortable as possible, and you want to know that he is there with you, fully supporting you, not focusing on how upset he is that his mom isn't there with him.

Personally, I would tell your MIL the same thing as well. Remind her that this decision has nothing to do with her. It has nothing to do with your mom vs her. You had your mom come the first time because as much as you love her (your MIL), she is not your mom. And that's not because she's done anything wrong! She's just....not your mom. That's it. No one can replace your own mom. Beyond that, you learned from the first experience that you wouldn't even invite your mother again! Having someone besides your husband and your medical care team in the room just isn't something that you are comfortable with. During birth your comfort level is of upmost importance because it is an otherwise really uncomfortable experience. You are exposed and in pain. The only other person you want to share that experience with is the person who is causing you to be in that pain - your husband. You hope that she can understand and respect that decision.

/r/BabyBumps Thread