Don't know where to turn. Long time lurker, first time poster

To me it seems like a problem with your SO mainly with a possible mother issue. Your SO accusing you of being unfaithful is concerning. Saying awful things to you because you’re off trying to better yourself and therefore your family is concerning! You admitted he takes things the wrong way a lot also. But then there’s your mother who does seem to have some Narc tendencies. This might just be the perfect storm where everyone’s worse traits are shinning through due to stress. I would try again with SO for counseling and then a sit down with all four of you face to face to figure out exactly what happened in your absence.

The one thing is certain is that this is not your fault! You’re not even there! Both sides are being incredibly unfair to you. You aren’t around and have witnessed none of it and yet they both expect you to deal with it?! Absurd! They are adults and should be able to deal productively with each other. You’ve supported both sides by talking to everyone and yet they’re still mad at you for not solving their issues? That’s really unfair to you.

My only suggestion outside of therapy is telling your SO to put up nanny cams. This way you will have video proof of who is doing what and you tell SO it’s to prove his case so you can properly confront your mother with evidence in hand.

/r/JUSTNOMIL Thread