What strikes me most is how often you comment on your own femininity, and how it seems like you both love it and fear it at the same time. Ultimately no one can tell you if you are or aren't trans, that is entirely on you. It wouldn't be the end of the world if you are, you aren't your step-siblings. It also wouldn't be the end of the world if you aren't, there are plenty of femme gay guys.

I didn't want to come out, I didn't want to transition, I didn't want to take the risks associated with it. Eventually I had to, the fear of "what if" wasn't a good enough reason anymore and the closet became way too small. Sacrifices were made, but I'm happier now.

If I could give you a test that could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt if you are or aren't trans, what do you really want the answer to be?