I treated my college boyfriend of 3 years like shit... We lost our virginity to each other and he really loved me but my eyes were always wandering around. Over the course of 3 years I emotionally cheated on him by texting one guy, I drunkenly made out with another guy, and I drunkenly held hands with another. I always owned up to it with him but dear god I should've treated him better and I regret putting him through so much pain especially when I broke up with him over text almost 4 years ago. My therapist says I should write him a letter which I'm considering. I'm so sorry your ex and I are such pieces of shit. My ex found someone soon after we broke up that he's still with and they live together now and seem really happy. I hope the same happens for you.