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Author: /u/my-firstpost
Title: Drug addict thinking about reporting my dealer to the police.
Original Post:
Hi everyone,
I'm a cocaine addict and have been trying to get clean for a while now but finding it incredibly difficult to succeed.
I went into rehab 2 years ago and managed to stay sober for a year and a half but regretably I relapsed a few months ago and am finding it really hard to get/stay clean. The worst part about it is that I have a 1 year old daughter and a wife who I neglect because of my addiction. I feel so much guilt and shame for being a father and not having the strength to stop using. I go to NA meetings and see a therapist regularly and recently I've been managing to stay clean for a week with ease thinking confidently that I will be able to continue abstinence but as soon as I get a craving I concede to the urge and make the phone call.
I have deleted my dealers contact details but unfortunately I know ithem off by heart so I feel there is no escape. Last week I sent him a message asking him to block my number and never respond to my messages so I could recover and be there for my family but unfortunately when I messaged him on the weekend he ignored my text and accomodated my self indulgent request.
I know this is a weak way to deal with the situation when rehab would be the most effective way to deal with this plus on many occasions he's told me how he's grown up poor with no education and has to support his family of 2 children by selling coke as it is the most secure way he can support his family in this country. I sympathize with him because of this and the fact I have had such a financially stable ubringing I feel guilty for the amount of money I waste to feed my addiction.
My therapist recommended last week I needed to go back to rehab which I have considered but also refuse because of the the shame about people finding out I relapsed after only 1.5 years sober but the worst part is this time Ias a father which makes it so much worst. On top of that I would have issues with work and would probably have to quit. Due to these fears I managed to stay clean for a week encouraging me to believe I could do this without rehab but unfortunately I relapsed again. To be honest I refuse to go back to rehab because of the shameful aspects I mentioned and honestly believe I can clean myself up without professional but right now the disease is winning and in order to avoid this avenue I have thought about reporting my dealer to the authorities to remove him from my life. I know this is selfish especially on his family and not the right way of dealing with the situation but having his contact details memorized makes this so much more difficult than it needs to be. I guess I could also threaten him by saying my family will call the police on him if he ever supplies me again.
Would appreciate it if reporting him is the right way to deal with this situation or is it just weak on my part and what would the legal process be?
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