I’m a dumper, I gave multiple chances, warnings, communicated my needs, gave examples, and he chose not to work on his anger issues. I am sure to him the breakup was probably a shock, but, honestly, that doesn’t make me the bad guy.
If it’s a shock to him, after everything I tried to do, that only solidifies that he never listened to me, respected me, or took me seriously. There is nothing that says he’s hurting more than I am right now. If anything, I’m hurting more because I had to walk away. He has only ever had toxic communication in relationships and isn’t willing to join me on the healthy side. I didn’t have “longer to deal with it”, in terms of the idea of breaking up. I kept trying to convince myself I could try one more time. I didn’t know it was the last time for me, it just was that night. I’m still holding back from messaging him because I miss him so much, but he views me as the horrible girlfriend who dumped him because he wouldn’t change for me. He doesn’t realize the things that need to change will affect all his future relationships negatively as well. They did for his past ones. Dumpers need a break on this sub. It’s like we’re not even allowed to post about being sad. I went through so much therapy to get to where I am now, and it’s gotten me nowhere with the man I thought was my soulmate. I feel lost.