Frankly, as his crime was against the federal government, he should have been tried in DC. I get that there's a convoluted legal argument to be made, but I just don't care that much. He didn't commit a crime against Virginia.

Okay, where to begin.

First, after having gone to some trouble to research the concepts you’ve brought up, I am not exactly thrilled that you’re coming back with, essentially, “fuck your legal stuff, it’s too complicated, I’m right.”

Second, I hope you realize it’s really annoying to take time crafting a good response to something only to be met with “yeah, I don’t really care, my uninformed opinion is definitely right and that’s all you need to know.” For the sake of intellectual consistency, I hope you tell your doctor “fuck you, I don’t care what you think. I’m going to keep mixing my sleeping pills with Scotch. I just don’t care that much.” It’s especially stupid, since (and I’m sure this is not the case, but…) what it seems like is that you’ve just decided to reinforce your pre-existing opinions.

Now for the good stuff! Third, that’s not how crime works at all, you 100% don’t get to try someone in DC just because they broke federal law. Good try though! Beside the fact that it’s horrible, horrible policy, we Americans have this fun thing called the Constitution. It entitles criminal defendants to trials in the state where the offense was committed, with a jury drawn from the district where the offense was committed. That’s a really important constitutional right! But your whole “yeah fuck your convoluted legal argument, it’s bullshit” argument is super good too.

I’m tired, and I’m out of it, and I do not have the energy right now to fully explore the many, many ways you are wrong about this. And you are, seriously. You might as well be telling me you don’t believe in climate change. If your victim is the federal government, no, you don’t get to be tried in DC. That is very much not how things work. And more importantly, you don’t get to blow off key constitutional provisions because you think it’d be cool if everyone had to be tried in DC. Go to law school if you want to grasp these issues better. In the meantime, I’m telling you, Jefferson Davis almost certainly could only have been tried in Virginia.