Masculine. There's a very fine and narrow path to happiness. The masculine forces humanity to evolve and develop on its terms. The feminine is there for those who have earned a break, but otherwise, the authority of nature, which I take to be masculine, forces us to march forward, even if you are kicking and screaming all the while.

Just try doing anything other than what your heart tells you. It will fail every time. I know this sounds stupid, but you are literally forced to consider others as part of your happiness. That's why I believe there's no true free will. It's like playing music on a record. It only sounds nice if you are traveling along the pre-determined grooves. You can try hopping out of the groove if you like, but only chaos will ensue.

They say the more control you give up, the more you gain. To me, that "gain" is illusory. You are just following that groove in the record. It feels good because the music is nice, but you're not really controlling a damned thing. That's why the biggest lie we are sold is that we are "individuals". Maybe in the loosest sense, but you are a slave to homeostasis and harmony, just like the cells in your body. It's either your own miserable party, or God's effervescent one. It pisses me off so badly. Why make us think we had a choice in the matter? It feels like a cruel joke. Oh well.

Sorry for the bitterness.