I think the effects of growing up in those two areas are drastically different. I grew up in a small conservative town surrounded by rich preppy white people and was pretty much the only Asian in my community. So Obviously, because of that, my life was hell and I was psychologically mind fucked before I even got into middle school. I became “woke” when I was around 16 after becoming disillusioned with everything in my life at the time. I quit the football and basketball team and left my racist friend group. Ironically, when the self hatred of being Asian went away, a new self hatred of regret took its place as I hated myself for rejecting my culture and being a super saiyan Chan (lol) for as long as I remember. From 16-18, I became severely depressed and contemplated suicide several times along with becoming addicted to drugs because I literally had nowhere to fit in. The irony is, by the time senior year rolled around, I became the stereotypical Asian i detested for so long that just studying all the time because that was the only comfort and peace I got weirdly enough

I decided to go to college out of state that had a sizable Asian American population. There’s asian dudes in top tier frats, asian interest social clubs are huge on campus, and every Asian that I’ve interacted with never had the racist problems I did, with the exception of random weird tinder dms, as they grew up in an environment where they interacted with people like them.

I’m doing better now and am still trying to figure out who I am and what I really stand for, but it’s a little hard to be completely honest to truly connect with the other Asians at my university. Everyone just seems to be really secure and care free, raving and getting kbbq all the time...maybe it’s jealousy, confusion, or a mix of both, but I feel a little disconnected from it all because of the fucked up environment I grew up in.