I really like to hear how 9s experience and feel the world for what it's worth. Their/your mindset is genuinely fascinating to me, I think because at certain points in my life I could relate somewhat to the sense of passive shutting out and not thinking about certain things. When I first discovered enneagram theory I thought I was a 9 because of that. Realized I was a 5 by reading Character and Neurosis. I should have realized I was a 5 sooner but I hated the image of the pseudo-intellectual "I'm so smart because I study and people are beneath me" verysmart sorts of people I associated with 5, mostly because that image was honestly really encouraged by online type descriptions and shit, realized I wasn't type 9 somewhat earlier than that by thinking more deeply about the type description and comparing that with 9s I knew and then with myself. The refusal/inability to think about certain things was either a rare, temporary defense mechanism, a sort of disassociation, in extremely stressful situations, or for certain experiences that left certain emotional scars. Also I'm rambling because it's late and I get weird and talkative at night, I'm sorry if this is weird. I'll probably edit this in the morning, sorry again. Anyway yeah, 9s are really interesting to me, because I've thought a lot about them, trying to understand their thought process, and at a certain point the concept seems disassociated from reality the more you think of it; it's to the point where it seems more like a constructed image or cariacture than reality and like you've missed reality for a faulty concept you're trying to shoehorn in, that in addition to having thought I was one. Personally, I really appreciated your post, so thank you.