the logical sided construction of my thoughts and behaviors has serious problems understanding the abstract vagueness of emotions

I've often heard of aspergers as having an "ultra masculine brain". Men thrive on binary, logic, and problem solving. High functioning autistics, from the few I've met, are obsessive over one or two things, have very high IQ, and absolutely geniuses when it comes to logic and reasoning - but this comes at a price of them lacking emotional reasoning and the ability to interact appropriately with others. In some way emotional reasoning is what holds other people back.

Also, sociopathy is a learnt behaviour. It's the constant pain -> recoil loop that because ingrained in people and forced them to hold themselves back to prevent future distress.

I think I have sociopathic traits (hence the username). I was also raped by a friends older brother ( I was 7, he was 13 ) and that made me quite a reclusive person, for years I couldn't come to terms with it. I'm high IQ, I was bullied throughout school life, I was brought up in an environment where I was constantly made to feel guilty for my existence or that I was to blame for my (half) sisters being mistreated (not sexually or violently abused) by my dad.

Sociopathic behaviour is learnt. I lie frequently in day to day life without even thinking about it to justify my every move. I question everything, I always do my own research and form my own opinions, I always anticipate what I will say, how it could be interpreted, how the person might respond, and I play out a ven diagram of how they can react. I'm always 2 steps ahead and I read people like books, I study body language, and I'm generally manipulate people so that I can become the person they want to see, so they like me rather than for personal gain or exploitation of them. Whilst I do feel guilt and empathy for people, I can generally overcome it, hide it, and justify it to myself to carry out selfish actions.

A psychopaths generally do things for personal gain. They're also born that way. They lack the emotion capable of making them feel empathy or guilt for their actions. These emotions generally are our way of keeping ourselves in check so that we can react well socially, but psychopaths excel personally and distance themselves from others who are generally a hindrance to their own life.