It's probably never going to make sense to you but "normal" people are obsessed with how they are perceived by others. And, by "obsessed", I mean that they are going to focus on you during your interactions, rather than on the subject at hand and, to a logically-minded individual, that doesn't make any sense but there's nothing you can do about it.

The good news is that not every "normal" person is like that. The bad news is that logically-minded individuals are perceived as defective.

You are not defective. You are different and you'll always be different. And from what I've observed with gifted children - many of whom are diagnosed as being "on the spectrum" - being different is not a bad thing.

I am different for having known gifted children who are considered "on the spectrum" and how their experiences have revealed things about "normal" people that make me cringe and despite the fact that I cannot bear to be around those considered to be "normal people" for extended periods of time, I am profoundly grateful. Grateful for your very existence and for having known people like you and grateful that my acquaintance with such individuals has rendered me incapable of being "normal", myself.