ELI5: Why do so many abuse victims become abusers themselves when they know how horrible it is to be put through it?

Humans, like all life, are adaptive and reactionary. We shift and change with our environment. This includes the people we hang out with or date. This often means they take on some form of traits, habits or interests. In the case of abuse victims that do turn to being abusers, it can often be something they gained through their experience, even if they themselves may not necessarily "want" to be that way it's now a part of who they are. Like how child you and the you of today are two very different people.

Some change for the worse and take on the traits that hurt them. Some change for the better and become more aware of the signs and try to help others.

/r/explainlikeimfive Thread